This.

That is just sick. Let's see how you like getting shanked in the crotch.

I heer eou witsch!
And then i throw it at you.

I actvate the witch causing a horde of infected to tear you to shreds, of course I fly of before they can get me to.

I set your exercise machine thingy to the 'Over 9000' setting, and you die of exhaustion.

I throw you into my giant oven and cook you alive. Then, when you are cooked enough, I eat you.

And then I turn into Kirby and swallow you whole.. with a conveniently placed grenade in my belly.

I rip of your metal arm, (which was in blade form at the time of your death) and impale it, through your brain.

i beat you with own exercise equipment

I cause your background scenery to topple and crush you

I dose your flames in water, then dunk you in battery acid, then light you on fire again.

I walk over and take the beltsander that abused your face as a child back to your head, thus disdorting it beyond preportions.

I let global warming kill you

i stuff your(awesome) hat down your throat

I hit your avatar with a train and then your body lands into a woodchipper, the pieces of that land in someones lawn and get run over by a lawn mower, the pieces are spat out of the lawn mower and land into a blender, someone takes a drink of you and then pours you into a garbage disposal...then you die.

your avatar got rule 34d on launch day so much you explode

I left your avatar in the toaster too long and it burned to death.

I celebrate day of the chinchilla by killing your avatar

I eat you.
*phew* that wasn't too hard.

I talk about you being a flaming bag of popcorn until you explode from sheer frustration.

I go back in time and eat you as a baby

Ninja'd!

I slowly tear you apart and feed you to ducks.

i ninja you so badly you explode

I rip out your eyes and skull fuck you.

whoa whoa whoa O_O

i stab you viciously in the heart rip it out then eat it

I eat you again.
I can do this all day!

I stab whatever that is

I wipe that smile off your face.

With peanut butter!

I feed you into an incinerator. It's as good a way as any other.

It seems you've already chopped your legs torso and one arm off, so I wait for you to die of blood loss

Er...death by double post?

It appears so. I convince your clone to try and kill you, and because you are perfectly matched, you both die in the struggle.

I'll create a catflap of death for Scythe cat, it has circular saws on the other side of it.

Send psychopathic zombie clown demon to mutilate.

I impale you with my sword.