4 hours later, Alex and Xiang were still playing chess.

"God damnit, Xiang, you only just found out about this game and alreadly you're owning me!"

"Guess I'm just naurally awesome. I wonder what the other people who post on this thread were thinking we were going to be doing?" Suddenly, a large crack appeared in the space in front of them.

"OH FUCK!" said Alex, "WE JUST BROKE THE FUCKING FOURTH WALL! RUN!" So they ran at breakneck pace to outrun the streak of blue light that was racing after them. Suddenly, the light dissapeared and the crack melted away. "What did I tell you about mentioning the posters? I told you, Xandus117 hates it when we-FUCK I BROKE IT AGAIN! RUN!"

"Dammit, why is the ship always being attacked?!" yelled Xandus "BARBAROSSA! Get that damn flaming metal out of my ship!"

"Will do captain." said Barbarossa

Barbarossa filled the ship with water, putting out the flames. He patched up the ship with coral and seaweed. Barbarossa looked towards the beach, and saw a Fantasy Ninja sitting in a tree laughing. Barbarossa threw at the Fantasy Ninja a shark, which landed in the tree and bit onto the ninja's leg. Barbarossa saw several other ninjas, including Sam, at the beach.

"Sir, there are some ninjas near the beach!" said Barbarossa "If we hurry, we can catch..."

"Fuck them." said Xandus "Let those cowardly ninjas run."

"But sir, we still need a ninja to translate the Shadow of Enlightenment for us." said Remmy

"Oh, we'll get ourselves a ninja." said Xandus "Barbarossa! Sail northward, to the Death's Blade village. We're going to capture one of their ninjas."

Xandus grabbed several heat-seeking missiles from a nearby crate. He loaded them into his arm.

"And we're going to have a war along the way."

steakheart:

"What did I tell you about mentioning the posters? I told you, Xandus117 hates it when we-FUCK I BROKE IT AGAIN! RUN!"

Alex was talking to Xiang in the forest.

"We have to split up. If they find both of u-"

"Whoa, when did this become a romance novel?"

"Uh , sorry. I guess I'll see you later." Alex ran off, as Xiang blew a kiss in his direction. The kiss missed and lodged itself in a tree.

"Darn my poor eyesight." Xiang said, and ran in the other direction.

As Alex ran, he thought to himself, "What will they do next? Attack a Death's Blade colony? Now that would be bad. I think I should but I'm really tired." Alex made a pile of leaves and fell asleep, dreaming of his life back in his time.

ThreeWords:

My offering...

His plan formed, Falx decided to have a look at the gun he took from the unconscious man. He went around to the back of the tavern, and fired it at the sky.

There was a whisper of a sound, and the gun twitched slightly. Falx did not believe it had fired, and pulled the trigger again. The same thing happened.

Maybe it was empty.

Falx aimed the gun at a nearby tree, and fired. The gun whispered again, and a small hole appeared in the tree, letting the light through from the other side. Falx stared at the gun, then walked up to the tree and examined the hole.

He wasn't sure whether to feel good about this or not. The gun was clearly astounding, one quiet enough for even a ninja to use. It was also incredibly easy for him to aim. He had tried guns before, and they were both too loud and almost impossible to hit anything with. This was just easy.

On the other hand, it meant that there was another man out there with a weapon of this quality. This seemed worrying to Falx, as he needed the perfect balance... ah, but he didn't with his new plan. He had the balance issues sorted provided there wasn't much bloodshed in the meantime.

It was surprising to hear himself think like that.

Still, he had a few things he needed for this plan. The first should be easy, the second... not easy at all for him. That would need negotiation. The third... well, it depended on the types of trader they had around here. If they had one of the correct type, it shouldn't be much of a problem at all.

He walked back into his tavern. He needed to decide whether or not to wait until darkness to carry out his plan, but currently he was leaning towards not waiting. All he needed to do was to use his intellect...

Alex woke up 30 minutes later from a dream involving his first use of the QWR. He stretched out and thought, what now? He walked away and felt a bullet whiz past his head. He dropped into the prone position. That was too quiet. Wait, could it be? He poked up and saw a man walking into the Tavern, holding a certain silenced MP7. Oh no. He slowly crept away, making sure not to alert the man. He now knew where his other gun was. On the other hand, now that man could use it against him at a pull of a trigger. Alex thought about it, and decided to keep a close watch on him. He walked to the front, activated his cloak, and waited.

Falx awoke. There was a faint disturbance of the shadows. He had decided to sleep for the moment, and had just settled down when he felt then shift slightly.

He considered his options. The tavern was windowless, so the front door was the only entrance. Thus, anyone would have to have come in there. The doors had not yet been opened though, so they were still outside.

He went down the steps, annoyed at being disturbed. He needed sleep for goodness sake, he was 17.

He walked over, and sat on the counter opposite the door, his eyes letting his see perfectly. The new gun would work if it was an interloper... but then again, that was no fun at all. And he was in the mood to make any interloper suffer.

He walked towards the door. His opponent might be able to hear him, but unless their hearing was excellent that wouldn't happen in the pitch darkness, as he had little weight there. He waited behind the door, ready to do what he needed to do. He drew out his sickle, and his edges became horribly unclear...

Can I start over? My old people sucked, and I have a new idea for my (single) character.

Isaac crept onto the roof of the Tavern and silently watched the events unfold. He was unsure which side was which, but he was afriad that he would soon find out.

The Wind Sheer drifted on the air curents coming in off the Pacific, and the captain and sole crew member looked out over the islands below him, studying their layout, before heading towards the nearest town. Flying low, he spotted a ninja, croutched upon the roofof a building.

Where ninja's lurk, trouble brews, thought ThreeWords, I think I shall watch and wait for now

Falx was now worried. A lone interloper was ok with him, and he could probably deal with them without too many problems. But the tavern was old, and set in it's ways, and in his last few days there, Falx had come to know it very well.

So when some of the rafters creaked slightly, Falx knew there was more then one person involved in this.

He knew that if his opponents relayed a decent strategy, he could be finished. He was currently dependant on this tavern for support, and it provided an excellect protection. It would not be hard for him to eliminate both interlopers now, but the only method he had of doing it destroyed his supreme advantage.

On the other hand, it seemed unlikely that his opponents had a good method of eliminating him. Judging from the fact that one of them had thought to attack from the roof, they were probably ninjas, as pirates rarely did that. He gained his powers from the darkness, something regular ninjas do as well. Thus they would be reluctant to destroy their advantage.

Furthermore, it was unlikely that his powers were known. He may have been seen by them, although he couldn't be certain, but the source of his powers should still be a mystery. Unless it was Sam with that damn mind trick, but this didn't seem like Sam's style. He'd be more likely to just smash a train into the tavern...

So he was probably safe, but until nightfall he couldn't move from the tavern. He was safe due to the lack of other entrances, but if he left the pitch darkness would vanish, and he would be exposed. The only option he therefore had was waiting for one of the ninjas to make a move.

Still, this was more of a risk now, so no messing about. He walked over to the counter again, and an idea occurred to him. He had never thrown out the owners body, finding the small delightful, so he picked it up and leaned it against the front of the counter, facing the door as if watching for an attacker. He then hid behind the desk, ready to fire at the entrance with his new gun. This would go well...

It was dark, so dark that it was almost opaque. ThreeWords sighed. He would prefer to remain inconspicuous, but this looked like the begginings of a ninja trick, and his assault programing screamed at him to do something, anything, as long as he struck first. Despite the urges to violence, he restrained himselfto flicking a single switch

The Wind Sheer's landing lights blazed into life, turning the darkness into a tableua ofblack and white images

A burning light flicked on above, and Isaac quickly looked up, stunned. "Pirates?!?" He thought, "How did I not see them there?" He quickly slid off the roof and hid under some bushes a few feet from the Tavern. "well, hopefully they didn't see me" He thought, and he prepared to see what happened next.

MEANWHILE!

Two ninjas are sitting on the beach, outside of the Death's Blade village.

"This sure is a beautiful day isn't it?" said one of the ninjas

"It sure is." answered the other "Hey, is that a Pirate ship in the dista..."

Suddenly, both of the ninjas were torn to pieces by gunfire. In the distance was the Kraken Slayer, along with an army of pirates. On the deck was Captain Xandus, reloading his minigun.

"Ah yes. There's nothing better than seeing two innocent ninjas ripped apart by bullets." said Xandus

Xandus turned to his crew.

"Now listen up men!" said the Captain "We are attacking the Death's Blade ninjas. The deadliest ninjas in all of Japan. I want them to die for killing our fellow pirates. However, I also want at least one left alive, so he/she can translate the Shadow of Enlightenment for us. Understood?"

"Aye, Captain!" shouted the entire crew

"Very well." said Xandus "Barbarossa, bring us to the shore. We've got some killin' to do."

The Kraken Slayer got as far to the beach as it could. The pirates got into small boats and used them to get the beach. Within minutes, an army of pirates were at the beach of the Death's Blade village.

"Alright lads, let's get 'em!"

As the lights burst intolife, a shadow flitted away, but ThreeWords was distracted by an explosion of gunfire from elsewhere. His hands passedover the controls, and the the Wind Sheer banked, heading toward the shore and the source of the shots.

Arriving, he found a pirate fleet deploying a huge invasion force. He flew low over them, showing his pirate colours, before heading in toward thecapital ship, whose name he read to be The Kraken Slayer

"...Hey, fun conversation," Sam said, patting Helvinski on the back, "But there's, like, a disturbance in the force. I need to go, 'kay?" He sprung off the branch and started running in the direction of the Death's Blade village. "Damn, I hope Lawrence is alright..." He slapped himself on the head. "What am I saying? Even that robot guy would have trouble with Lawrence. Still..." He quickened his pace, the Kraken Slayer coming into sight. "You can never be too safe..."

Isaac heard of burst of gun fire in the distance, and then saw the airship change course and head toward the village. Deciding that what was happening by the water was a more pressing concern, he abandonned the man in the Tavern and started moving to shore, being shure to stick in the shadows and to avoid being seen by the airship, although he had a gut feeling that he wasn't priority anymore.

"YARR! COME TO YE'S DEATH!" Remmy cried, hacking at the advancing ninja-guards as he took gulps of his rum. His enemies came at him with speed and strength, expecting an easy kill with the stumbling drunk, only to find a flash of steel to be their final scene of life.
"What do yah do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor...NOTHING, if'en you don't want to figure out life with half a body! HAHAH!"

One of the ninja's were a little quicker on the uptake, though, and Remmy narrowly dodged a barrage of shuriken. One of them did take out his rum bottle.

Remmy looked up to see the ninja perched on a roof, eyes filled with pride as he armed himself with more shurikens.

"Hmph."

Remmy sped towards the little hut, quickly jumping up and reaching the surprised foe. He grabbed the man's head and in one swift move brought the man's chin to his knees. He heard a satisfying crunch.

Remmy let the now limp body drop to the ground, several more ninjas ready to avenge him.

"Know we get serious." Remmy said with a grim face, drawing his cutlass and wiping his katana on his shirt. He then jumped down, ready to take on any challenger.

Waiting for the interloper to leave, Falx heard the sounds of a distant battle. A smile lit up on his face. This would both make his plan more effective, and give him some opportunities to get it ready faster.

Of course, he still had to wait for the one outside his door to go away. He was considering just firing his new gun at the doorway, and leaving like that. He wanted badly to get to that battlefield.

He needed to make sure the balance was well maintained there, and wanted to take a few things from the battlefield that would be otherwise extremely difficult to get... well, not difficult, but awkward. He shouldn't be noticed on a battlefield, and it was loud enough for him to hear, so the battle was huge.

He was restraining himself from leaving, as he badly wanted to, but he knew that there was someone in the doorway. He didn't know anything about them, but they were there, and they were holding him up.

Finally, he lost patience, and fired his weapon at the doorway in order to eliminate them. Or rather, he tried to. What actually happened was the gun made a sad clicking sound, and nothing else. Falx stared at it, annoyed. No more ammunition? Three freaking shots, all wasted on testing it?

Furious, he dropped the gun, and smashed it with his scythe. He ground the remains into the floor with his shoes, not caring that he was making his opponent aware of his position. He then fixed his eyes on the door, picked up his umbrella, and walked towards it...

"Falcon..." Sam yelled, leaping through the air and soaring at Remmy, "Punch!" He unleashed a charge of electricity in his left hand and punched Remmy in the face, sending him flying. "Your opponent shall be me, sir!" Sam drew his swords and adopted a fighting stance.

Isaac reached the battlefield just in time to watch a pirate with a cutlass in one hand and a broken rum bottle in the other charge at a little hut and kill the ninja on the roof. He began to take another fighting stance, but he was far too slow and was smashed in the face by another agile ninja. The pirate flew a few feet back, but landed on his feet. Isaac could tell that this pirate meant business, so he drew out his quarter staff and took a stance beside the other ninja. This would be a good fight.

Xandus saw an army of ninjas charging at him. Xandus aimed his minigun arm and fired, killing every one of them. He was hit in the back of the head with a shurikan. He turned to see a Vampire Ninja standing in a tree.

"Come face me, pirate sum!" said the Vampire Ninja

Xandus jumped towards the Vampire Ninja with his claymore. The vampire jumped out of the way, then pulled out two katanas. The vampire unleashed a series of strikes on Xandus.

"Fool!" shouted the vampire ninja "You cannot defeat me!"

"Wait, why are you still alive?" said Xandus

"What do you mean?" asked the vampire

"Aren't vampires suppose to die from sunlight?"

The vampire ninja turned around and saw that it was currently daytime.

"OH SHIT!"

The vampire ninja turned into a pile of ashes.

Out of the corner of his eye Isaac saw some novice vampire burn to the ground from the sun. "Fool, obviously hasn't mastered his powers yet" Isaac thought, and then turned to face his opponent

"'Sup, buddy? Isaac, is it? Tell me, Isaac-kun, you don't think this is a bit unfair to poor Remmy-chan over there?" Sam waved at his new friend, then pointed a sword at Remmy. "Oh, I had an idea!" He continued, his eyes lighting up. "Hey, Xandus-kun!" he called to the mechanical pirate. "We're gonna kill your friend, then cut up his corpse and have sex with it!" Sam turned back to Isaac with a smile on his face. "See? Fair. That there's real ninja honor."

"Point taken" Isaac replied, at he lept forward in Xandus' direction, and struck him in the side of the head with his Staff. The he jumped behind him and struck him in the back of the leg, bringing him to his knees. Isaac felt his Canine teeth grow, and he prepared to finnish Xandus.

Falx swung the door open, and swung his scythe at... nothing?

This was confusing. He had felt something arrive there, that was at least humanoid to start with, and he hadn't felt it leave. He backed away, back into the darker end of the tavern, and his eyes glowed as he tried to make out who was hiding there.

He saw nothing. Whatever it was had gone, and Falx wasn't going to waste his time with it. He walked over to the door again, and shut it as he left with his scythe and umbrella. As he did though, he noticed some inscribing in the door that hadn't been there before. He wasn't able to understand them though.

Still, the battle was still going on, and he was supposed to be there. He had things to do. He put up his umbrella to shield him from the sun, and grinning wildly, he headed towards the sounds of war.

As he walked away from the tavern, the writing on the door was subject to some gusts of wind that signaled the start of the weathering process. Slowly they would fade, but for now, carved into the door in a language Falx couldn't read, were the words:

Xandus stood up. Isaac charged at the metal pirate, only to be met by a fist of steel. Isaac was knocked to the ground.

"Tell me boy." said Xandus "Were you never told that you can't beat a machine, or are you just plain stupid?"

Xandus kicked Isaac in his stomach and turned to Sam who was beating Remmy.

"SAM!" shouted Xandus "Come here and face me, you cur!"

"What? Oh, sorry, Xan-chan the man, I'm a bit busy right now. TTYL, 'kay?" Sam called, ducking under a sword-strike from Remmy, then doing a backflip and kicking him in the face.

Xandus stood up faster than than Isaac thought he would. Isaac tried to attack, but was too slow and was knocked to the ground, and then kicked in the stomach. Coughing up blood, Isaac watched Xandus begin to walk in Sam's direction. "Damnit, that was an advanced robot" Thought Isaac. He looked around wildly and saw his Quater Staff lying beside him. He grabbed it, stood up, and saw a pirate grunt to his left. He spun around and smashed the pirate in the face, knocking him out. The he grabbed him and quickly sucked him dry of blood. "Tasty" Isaac said as he grabbed the dead pirates' gun. He looked it over. "Maybe this will help me defeat that Xandus guy" He thought. He aimed the barral at Xanadus' head, and pulled the trigger.

Falx was running towards the battlefield, but was finding it more difficult then he had anticipated. The winds were strong, and he was of quite a light build. He was finding progress difficult.

He considered. Was he really this disadvantaged by the wind? It might be picking up, but it wasn't that strong. He shouldn't have this much of a problem with it.

Or maybe it would help if he folded up his umbrella. That might speed things up a bit.

Falx stopped, folded his umbrella again, and went back to running. At least it wasn't too sunny today. Bright sunlight wasn't fatal to him, but it did give him nasty sunburns very easily, and he didn't like those...

"Silly man," Alex thought. "Dropped my gun." Alex picked up his weapon and checked it for traps (after reassembling it for about 25 minutes), and found none. He placed it in his holster, but heard a far away noise and saw a sign in the sky. "The ninja-signal! I must find the battle!" he said, and ran in the direction of the fight.