"Damn, for one-legged guys, those pirates sure can run!" Sam muttered, panting a little and sitting on the roof of his Doomtrain. "I say, you there, tonberry, stoke the boilers," he called to one of his Tonberry crewmembers. "I spy pirates..."

Falx was puzzled. Those pirates, if they were heading for him, should have got here by now. They hadn't, so that left 3 options.

-1) They weren't actually headed for him, and it had just been a coincidence. They were headed somewhere near him.
-2) They were around somewhere planning something.
-3) They had been distracted by something along the way.

1 seemed unlikely to Falx. The tavern was a pretty deserted part of the village. So that left 2 and 3. He would probably have heard them approaching, as pirates weren't notorious for silence, so that left 3.

This made coming down here useless. He shinned up a drainpipe on the side of the inn, and lay back with his umbrella back up, shielding him from the sun once more.

As he looked down he saw that they were nowhere to be seen. He figured that the distraction, whatever it was, was enough to put them off attacking altogether. He lay back, and relaxed once more. In the distant village he heard the sounds of skirmishes, and smiled as he listened to the screams of the fallen. He should probably get more involved tonight...

"Ummm... what?"

"I asked if you came here often."

Alex had just been greeted by a pretty, female Ninja, whose name, he found out, was Xiang. They talked for a while, and they found that they got along very well. Unforunately, before he could ask the infamous, "You want a drink?" she said she had to go.

"Damn, that was quick." thought Alex. As she walked out, she felt him brush past his pocket. He reached int it, hoping to find a note, but he saw that his Quantum Rift Warp device, which allowed him to travel through time, was missing. He looked behind him, and saw that Xiang was running away very fast. "Oh no you don't!" He ran after her, chasing her all over the city. On top of rooftops, under bridges, and even through a group of schoolchildren. She rounded the corner, and as he turned it, she was nowhere to be seen. He knelt to the ground, wondering what he would do now that he couldn't get back to his time period. He decided to meditate, using an ancient magical Ninja trick, into a different dimension for a day or so to think it over.

It was approaching nightfall. Falx grabbed his umbrella, and floated down from the tavern once more. Come midnight, he set off.

He headed into the more packed (in the daytime anyway, not so much now) part of the town, and encountered a bar full of sleeping pirates. He entered, and looking around, found his attention caught by what appeared to be a pirate asleep next too... a truly bizarre looking ninja. It was probably a pirate if you looked at it from the point of view that pirates and ninjas hated each other, but it looked far more like a really odd ninja.

Falx decided killing the ones in this bar would be pointless, since the balance needed to be ensured. He tried searching their unconscious forms, and found 2 strange guns and an odd device on the weird one. He tried adjusting some of the buttons on it. He suddenly found himself in the middle of the next day. Panicking, he reversed what he did. He went back to the proper time, breathed a sigh of relief, then he returned it to the unconscious man, along with 1 of the guns. The other gun he kept with him, since these strange new guns needed an examination.

He found nothing of interest on the less weird looking pirates, and so he returned their equipment and moved along. He knew the pirate population needed trimming though, so he headed towards the docks, hoping to encounter some more... competent pirates then the drunk ones. After all, killing the useless would do little, and they could be disposed of later. Meanwhile, being followed because he had blood trailing him wouldn't be good.

He arrived at the docks at midnight. He looked around, drew out his scythe from the darkness, and headed towards a ship that struck him as interesting...

Xandus and his crew were on board the Kraken Slayer along with Captain Shanks.

"So, you're saying that the Death's Blade ninja camp is located north of here?" said Xandus

"Indeed." said Shanks "Majority of the Death's Blade forces are searching for us, so there won't be many at the camp."

"Whys are weesh attacking again?" said Remmy, drunk as usual

"We need someone to translate that Shadow of Enlightenment book for us." said Xandus "None of us speak ancient japanese, so we need to capture a ninja from the camp and make him translate it for us."

Xandus heard a noise near the docks. He turned and saw a ninja holding an umbrella and a scythe.

"We've got company." said Xandus

The pirates manned their positions, ready for a fight if the ninja came with friends. Xandus activated a strong light that was built into his eye and aimed it at the ninja.

"YOU THERE, NINJA WITH THE SCYTHE!" yelled Xandus "STOP WHERE YOU ARE AND WE WON'T BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!"

The ninja stopped in his tracks. He put his umbrella in front of him, blocking the light from Xandus' eye.

"Good, now don't move." said Xandus "I'd like to make a deal with you ninja. We need someone to translate ancient japanese for us. How about you help us out and we don't kill you?"

Shit. A robotic pirate. This wasn't good.

Falx was shocked. He had no idea that the robotic pirates still existed, and had presumed them all dead. He hadn't been too worried about this happening as a result, assuming he would just trim some of the lower ranking members of the ship. But he doubted he could actually do any real damage to this opponent, and in all probability the light he produced would weaken Falx considerably.

He considered the offer. As it happened, he had never read a word of ancient Japanese. His best option would probably be to try and escape, which should be easy enough. He wasn't inclined to trust these pirates to not kill him in any case. After all, he would hardly be much use to them after he had translated whatever it was.

Come to think of it, why were they even awake at this hour? He had chosen midnight specifically for the purposes of catching them unawares. The mechanical pirate was understandable, as it was very possible they didn't sleep, but the rest of them... could it be that they were better organized then he had anticipated?

He decided on a plan of action, but it was a little reliant on chance. He decided to try something more interesting, as the lack of light aside from that which came from the mechanical pirate was a factor that should be exploited.

"Have him" Falx motioned at a pirate carrying a pair of pistol muskets, "come over here and bring this text you are interested in. Although I would also like to know why you want this translated."

"NONE OF YOU *hic* BISHNESH!" Remmy cried, waving the rum at that ninja.
"Remmy, why the hell are you drunk this late?" Xandus angrily whispered to him.
"Why the hell not? Ish a good motto, dat ish....use it all the time, yuyuyuyuyuyou know.
'Hey Remmy, want to go drinking?' Why the hell not! 'Hey Remmy, want to plunder this village?' Why the hell not! 'Hey Remmy, want to try something with this sheep.' WHY the HELL not, though I do require some protection."

"Choo choo!" Sam yelled, driving his Doomtrain directly towards Remmy. Preassumably, Remmy jumped out of the way, but Sam didn't bother to check. De dived off the train, hit the ground rolling and sprung to his feet, hands on his swords.
"Falx! Buddy! We should hang out some time!" Sam suggested. Then he turned to the pirates. "'Sup?"

The hell?

Falx looked in amazement at this ninja who had appeared out of nowhere. Things had just got a whole lot worse for him. He needed the pirates to be clever about this if he wanted to do what he came here to do, and although the mechanical pirate looked suitably intelligent, the drunk one was more like the other pirates, and this did not bode well.

Falx now recognized this as the ninja who had tried to attack him when he initially came here. Maybe things could be made better after all, since this ninja seemed powerful. Still, right now he was in the way.

If only he could get rid of that light for long enough...

"What the hell are you doing here?" he said to the ninja. "And who the hell are you anyway?"

He was aware that the pirates would not like this, but aside from the mechanical one he wasn't too worried about them anyway. Right now this ninja was probably the second greatest threat to him on the ship, and he needed to know about him...

Alex woke up from his meditative transcendation. Thankfully, it had worked, and he was still sitting at thet same time and place. But he realized that someone had taken his gun.

How on earth did I not notice that yet? Oh well.

Alex Stood up, feeling a bit tired from the jump to another dimentional concsiousness. He knew exactly what he needed to do. He was going to find Xiang, and get the Q.R.W. back. But first, he needed some chow. Chow Mein, he thought, smiling to himself at his own horrible brand of humor. He walked down to a market and saw someone selling spit-roasted chicken. He bought a piece with some money he pickpocketed from a rich looking man, and wolfed it down, feeling much better now that he had some food in his stomach. He walked around for a little while, just to find some hints about where Xiang was. Let's start with a corrupt family member. They're always willing to tell the truth. Especially after some... persuasion.

Remmy looked up at bemusement at the ninja that just jumped off a flying train, then at his rum, then back at the ninja.
"Bloody hell....must of gotten the weak stuff. You should of flown in with a half snake, half pink hippo if I was drinking the good stuff!" Remmy snorted, throwing the rum off the ship with a angry flick.
"Anyways, welcome aboard, Train Ninja. What be ye's business here?"

"It's Sam! He's with the Death's Blade!" shouted Xandus "Kill him!"

The pirates on deck pulled out there pistols and laser, and began firing at Sam. He jumped around, dodging the projectiles and killing the pirates. Xandus' arm transformed into a minigun, which he fired at Sam. Sam picked up Grimmie and used him as a meat shield.

"OW!" yelled Grimmie "QUIT SHOOTING XANDUS! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

Xandus kept firing. However, he quickly ran out of ammo. Sam dropped Grimmie and charged Xandus. The robot pirate grabbed a bottle of rum from Remmy's hands.

"Hey!" said Remmy "That's me rum, ya bastard!"

Sam was about to stab Xandus with his sword, when Xandus smashed the bottle of rum on Sam's head. Sam fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Take Sam to the brig." said Xandus "Looks like we found someone to translate for us."

"What about the scythe ninja?" asked Barbarossa

"He's useless to us now." said Xandus "Kill him."

Barbarossa pulled out a cutlass with his skeletal hand. He jumped of the ship and began walking towards the ninja with the scythe.

Hmm... this wasn't what I wanted to happen, but it's pretty interesting nonetheless.

Falx lowered his umbrella so as to see his opponent. With the robotic one no longer focusing on him, he was in a far better position. Still, an undead... not simple to deal with.

He raised his scythe, and started to blur at the edges. His eyes started to glow red. He smiled in the darkness, and prepared for the pirate to attack.

He did so. Initially just a lunge, which Falx dodged easily, and hit the undead on the side with the butt of his scythe as he did. The undead pirate let out a roar of fury, and launched another attack, this time from a closer range. Falx blocked this time, holding his scythe so that the sword ricochet off the handle.

Again he attacked. This one caught a glancing blow to Falx's arm, as he span away from it. Only superficial, although he seemed to be losing ground here. He span away, this time dodging another blow and hitting the pirate in the head with edge of his scythe, causing... Falx couldn't assess the damage, as no blood would come from an undead.

A final attack, and this time Falx made a better counter. As the pirate raised his sword, Falx placed his umbrella in the man's face, and he lost balance and fell over. Seizing his opportunity, Falx brought his scythe down on the man's chest region, and picked him up on it. He then smashed him against the side of the ship, causing something to crack (Falx couldn't tell whether it was the ship or the pirate), and then dropped him into the sea, trying to remember if water was something that damaged the undead. Probably not, considering they're pirates, he decided.

Falx turned back towards the ship. The pirate numbers definitely needed trimming, with the ninjas already behind. Losing that ninja would Disrupt the balance heavily, and that wouldn't do at all. He raised his scythe once more, and smashed a hole in the side of the ship.

This ought to disrupt them, he thought. They seemed to have gone inside though...

"Remmy, make sure the bastard is locked up tight. I don't want him trying any of his ninja tricks. AND STOP DRINKING ALREADY!" Xandus ordered, going to his cabin to prepare his interrogation devices.

"Ne-ne-ne-ne-neNAH!" Remmy muttered, setting down his drink and following Sam into the brig. He started to fasten the man into the special chains of the ship, specially made for ninjas.

"Don't know what's so great bout that dumb book...."Shadow of Enlightenment," Bah! Doesn't sound like that interesting of a read...sounds more like...like..." Remmy stuttered, a faint memory starting to grow in his head.

"Like...a bed-time story?" he said, his face showing a look of confusion.

"Bwuh?" Sam bwuhed, waking up. He noticed the alcoholic pirate muttering to himself, but as far as he could tell, he was the only other person in the room. the only other person...
"Mental extension, go!" Sam yelled.
"Whah? You awake?" Remmy asked.
"No, I'm still unconscious. Go back to talking to yourself." Sam reassured him.
"Oh, alright..." Remmy seemed satisfied by this answer. He turned around and drank some more, then passed out on the ground a few minutes later.
Sam checked to make sure he was really out, then got back to what he was doing. "Mental extension, go!" he whispered. As he did so, his eyes turned a shade paler, and a small tonberry crawled out from under his shirt where he had been sleeping.
You, minion! Loosen my bonds! Sam ordered, speaking within the tonberry's mind.
Righty-ho, guv'na, the tonberry thought, pulled out his chef's knife and cut clean through the chains.
Nice work there, mate! Take the rest of the night off; you've earned it! Sam thought to the tonberry.
Woo-hoo! I'm goin' to a strip club! the small green thing exclaimed, and scurried off.
"Now, I'd better go see what Falx is up to..." Sam muttered to himself, retrieving his weapons from the unconscious form of Remmy.

Falx was still smashing holes in the side on the ship. He had no intention of actually sinking it, and was merely trying to get the attention on those on board, but the odd thing was no-one seemed to care. Maybe he should try hitting it below the waterline... although that would make the ship sink... probably. Falx's knowledge of ships wasn't brilliant.

A noise from the ship made him turn. Sam (as Falx now knew him) was sitting on the edge of the ship, watching this.

"Why the hell are you following me? If you want a fight, go pick one with that tin can on the ship."

Sam pondered over this for a moment, then smiled and extended his hand. "Let's be allies." He turned his hand into a finger, then wagged it at Falx. "And don't just immediately say no, 'cause no matter how powerful you are, with pirates and ninjas all over the place turning on you, it's unlikely you'll survive for long on your own."

Falx stared at Sam in surprise. This was something he hadn't anticipated. All the same, right now it was still a little too vague.

"Define the alliance." A few things needed clarification.

"Oh, nothing major. Just a temporary sort of thing, you know. Like say, until this war is over, we'll each make sure the other doesn't die. It seems to me like a good way of staying alive, what with all the enemies each of us has...
We don't necessarily need to stick together all the time, but if there's any sort of life-or-death situation and one of us contacts the other it would be their obligation to lend a helping hand. Also, supposing one of us had some sort of plan, they could arrange with the other one to pull it of together. Typical "you scratch my back and vice versa" arrangement. The first detail of which," Sam paused for effect, "would be getting off this boat. What do you say, partner?" He extended his hand again.

"If you cant get off the boat, how did you even get.. never mind."

Falx considered. It sounded useful, but he was still a little set against it. He had never been very cooperative... a detail which actually led to the accident that originally caused him to be banished.

"I refuse. For you see..." Falx drew out his scythe, "an alliance can be seen as a friendship", he raised the scythe, and shattered it into the hull of the ship, this time below water level, "and all ships inevitably sink."

Falx grinned in the darkness at Sam, dispelling his scythe as he did so. He turned, grabbing his umbrella, and started to run at a speed elevated by the darkness, blurring at the edges. He didn't wait to see the resolution, but it was unlikely that Sam would catch him. He guessed it was possible, but it would depend on how long it took to summon that train thing.

The pirates would almost certainly blame Sam. He escaped after all, and he had already been seen by them to be a skilled warrior. Falx had only fought the skeleton guy, and no-one had apparently seen that...

Alex, thanks to his photo-absorption steath cloak and the imperial records, was standing outside the house of Don Ling, Xiang's cousin. Don was a prolific weapon smuggler who had been in hiding for about 4 years. As Alex snuck around in the bushes, he saw Don walking around outside. He snuck up behind him and grabbed him, holding a combat knife to his throat.

"So, you want to talk, or do I need to rough you up a bit?"

"Wha- who are you? Wh are you here?"

"I just need to know where your cousin is. Let me show you something that should change your mind..." Alex said, as he held a large pouch of gold coins in front of Don's face. Gotcha.

"Now that you put it that way, I can tell you. She ran off into the forest, northeast from here. She was holding something shiny, muttering about the Matrix."

"Oh god no. Not the Matrix."

"What's the Ma-HURK!" Don began to speak, but Alex silenced him. He knew too much already.

"Now that the Matrix is involved," thought Alex, "I'm going to need to be careful about who I show myself to." He activated the cloaking device, and ran off.

"Nyeeehhhh....No mommah, I don't wanna eat the soup...I SAW you put the rat poison in there....chocolate? OKAY! NOM...AHHH!"
Remmy jerked awake, his mouth filled with wood-chips from the chunk of ship he just had.
"Damn it, why do I keep getting drunk like tha? Must be horrible child-hood or sometin...I'd probably know if'en I'd stop drinking." he muttered, taking out another bottle.
He glanced at the chains, dropping his bottle when he saw them empty.

"SAM ESCAPED! The damn ninja out-ninja's the ninja-proof chains! The BASTARD!" Remmy cried, furious at being tricked and a wee bit worried of Xandus finding out.

He got to the deck at the same time that the ship was cracked, Sam standing in the middle of it all.
"YOU DOUBLE BASTARD! NO ONE CRACKS THE SHIP THAT HOLDS MAH RUM!"
Remmy's hand began to move in a complicated pattern, moving so fast they were nothing blurs. As he added a low chant to it, his hands began to glow with a bright-fiery red.

As he neared the climax of his chant, Remmy raised one hand, all fingers down 'cept for third one, aiming it at Sam.
"ONE FINGERED FIRE!"

A blast of fiery force exploded from Remmy's hand, hitting Sam and cracking the ship in half.

"....Sam! Quit breakin our boat!" Remmy shouted, running to the life-boats.

"Ah. Um. Shit." Sam said, landing on a chunk of floating debris and hopping to his feet. "Would it help if I said sorry?" he watched the pirate's reaction. "Yeah, didn't think so."
He pulled a couple of throwing knives out of his pocket and threw them at Remmy, pinning him to a wall of the rapidly sinking ship, before spinning around and running away across the surface of the water.

"No! I can't die like this! I need to be drunk enough to forget this in the morn!" Remmy cried.
"Wait a minute...these clothes are the things keepen me stuck...so all's I got to do is...GET NEKKED! And I think I know the best way how.
Remmy began to rub and move his body, a small bottle of EXTRA STRENGTH RUM coming out of his pocket. Doing some fancy maneuvering, he was able to lift the bottle to his mouth and drink it all.

10 minutes later...
Remmy woke up with a start, quickly looking around. He saw he was in a small cabin, sleeping in a large bed with a lovely young lass and an even lovelier sheep.
"Success!"
Suddenly Xandus slammed the door open.
"Remmy! What the hell are you doing in my cabin? Why is the boat sinking!? AND WHAT ARE YE DOING WITH MEH SHEEP!?!?"

Alex walked into the woods to look for Xiang. While walking, he found a log cabin and peered inside. What he saw, he wish he could've unseen it. A man appeared to be arguing over a sheep with another, slightly robotic-looking one. The shorter one was drunk and appeared to by lying in bed, naked, and with a bottle of EXTRA STRENGH RUM cradled in his hands, and a familiar-looking woman at his side. He made no big deal of this, as the men were pirates, who have been known to do the freaking craziest stuff on earth.

"Wait a minute..." Alex mused, "That's XIANG!"

The pirates on the inside looked in his direction, startled, and then looked back. Thank god for modern stealth technology, He thought. Alex snuck inside and began to listen in.

"Remmy! What the hell are you doing in my cabin? Why is the boat sinking!? AND WHAT ARE YE DOING WITH MEH SHEEP!?!?"

steakheart:
Alex walked into the woods to look for Xiang. While walking, he found a log cabin and peered inside. What he saw, he wish he could've unseen it. A man appeared to be arguing over a sheep with another, slightly robotic-looking one. The shorter one was drunk and appeared to by lying in bed, naked, and with a bottle of EXTRA STRENGH RUM cradled in his hands, and a familiar-looking woman at his side. He made no big deal of this, as the men were pirates, who have been known to do the freaking craziest stuff on earth.

"Wait a minute..." Alex mused, "That's XIANG!"

The pirates on the inside looked in his direction, startled, and then looked back. Thank god for modern stealth technology, He thought. Alex snuck inside and began to listen in.

"Remmy! What the hell are you doing in my cabin? Why is the boat sinking!? AND WHAT ARE YE DOING WITH MEH SHEEP!?!?"

"You know what, fuck this." said Xandus "I've got a ship to save, and some ninjas to catch."

Suddenly, the ship began to rise up and the water in the room drained out.

"What the hell is going on now?"

Xandus looked out his window and saw Barbarossa standing in the water below the ship. He was waving his arms about, controlling a mass of seaweed.

"Barbarossa! What are you doing?"

"Repairing the ship captain!" said Barbarossa "That ninja with the scythe tried to kill me, but he forgot the Undead pirates control the power of Water."

Barbarossa was repairing the holes in the ship using seaweed and coral.

"Excellent job Barbarossa." said Xandus

Xandus turned around and looked towards Remmy. He realized that the woman in bed with him was a female ninja.

"REMMY!" yelled Xandus "What the fuck are you doing with a ninja in your bed?!"

"Hey, there aren't any female pirates around here..."

"Sure there are. We've got three in our crew alone." said Xandus "Say, can that ninja chick read ancient japanese?"

Alex was listening intently to the conversation going on. Suddenly, Xiang stood up.

"No way am I going to translate for you bastards! And why am I even here? The last thing I remember was a hard knock on the head." Xiang stood up and walked out, still naked, provoking a response from everyone in the room that, while only a guttural groan, clearly said, "Hot. Damn." As she walked out, Alex saw that she was still had the Q.R.W. in her hand. Alex grabbed it and stuffed it back in his pocket. But as he did, he accidentally fell off the lamp he was perched on and landed on the button that deactivated his cloak. As he stood up, he saw two very angry pirates with guns and one hot female Ninja who had pulled a small dagger out of her hairpin.

"Ah, fucknuggets."

"HOW DID THIS PIRATE GET ON MY SHIP?!" yelled Xandus "AND WHY IS THERE A HOT NINJA CHICK ON BOARD AS WELL?"

"Sir, why are you yelling so loud?" said Remmy

"IT'S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY REMMY!" yelled Xandus "I HAVE TO TYPE ALL MY POSTS IN CAPS IN HONOR OF BILLY MAYS!"

"Oh, that makes sen..." said Remmy "I mean...OH, THAT MAKES SENSE."

"Do we have to use all caps too?" said Alex

"YES." said Xandus

"OKAY THEN!' yelled Alex "LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO STAY BUT..."

Xandus aimed his minigun arm at Alex and Xiang.

"YOU TWO AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!" said Xandus "WE NEED YOU TO FOLKS TRANSLATE A CERATIN BOOK FOR US, SO WE CAN LOCATED SOMETHING IMPORTANT."

Remmy grabbed Alex's weapons and Xiang's dagger.

"YOU TWO ARE GOING TO STAY HERE ON MY SHIP."

"HA! WHO'S THE STUPID PIRATE NOW, HUH?" Remmy sneered as he grabbed the ninja's weapons.

"But we never...uh,WE NEVER SAID THAT TO YOU."

"YOU WERE THINKING IT! I SAW IT IN YOUR EYES!"

"BUT I'M WEARING GLASSES..."

"SILENCE!"

ALEX WALKED ALONG WITH REMMY TO A TORTURE CHAMBER WHO WAS PROMPTLY BOUND UP ON A RACK, ALONG WITH XIANG.

"OH, SO NOW THIS IS AN S&M CLUB?" ASKED ALEX, LOOKING OVER AT XIANG, PERHAPS A LITTLE BIT TOO LONG.

Helvinski sat in his tree, just outside of the village. He let his head fall back onto the trunk of it in seeming defeat. "Jeez, this has got to be the most boring war I've ever observed. The two sides aren't menacing each other, they're menacing and being menaced by a single guy. This is not a war. This is politics. I hate politics. Hrmf." 'Ski looked forward gazing at the boat he knew there were both pirates and ninja on. "Fuck observation. I wanna do something. Time for a test..." Pulling his gloves taut, he swung to the ground and knuckled over to the shore where the boat was floating. He looked at it. He reached out a finger and gently prodded the side of it. "Does not inspire the trust, does it? Damn pirates'll sail in anything that'll float...well, makes my job easier. Let's poke the bear." He cracked his knuckles and set to work.

First, he punched the ground, a seal expanding from the point of impact. The seal flashed and then disappeared, sinking into the ground.

Then he walked back to his tree, sat down and watched the show as all the metals in the ground for five miles around and down shot through the ship in a burning spear appearing from the shore. It was a decent size spike.

Explosions were set off as the gunpowder and rum stashes were (very temporarily) ignited from the intense heat of the spike, the deeps' metals still nearly molten. Wood caught fire and was turned to ashes quickly. "Well that was fun. Now what? Anybody interesting escape that?"

Falx was now back at his tavern. He looked despondently at the ship, his vision enhanced by the darkness. It didn't seem to have sunk.

"Maybe I don't know enough about boats..."

But at that moment, there was a massive surge of energy. A seal, clearly visible, appeared then vanished. A spike came from nowhere and smashed into the side of the ship, causing it to explode.

"...What was that?"

Falx stared. The ship was now sinking very fast, and from the looks of it a lot of the crew had been killed. He smiled. He had no idea what had happened, but it did the job he had set out too do, and that was the important thing.

However, the fact still remained that conflict wasn't escalating fast enough. He needed more fighting, since the two groups just planning would lead to no war. He needed his own plan. He walked inside the tavern, and started to think about it.

As water flooded the torure chamber, everyone screamed. Remmy and Xandus ran out, leaving Alex and Xiang. Alex, using a trick he learned in the army, popped his wrists out of their sockets and twisted the ropes so much that they broke. He then picked up his equipment, which Remmy had dropped in his drunken confusion, and cut Xiang free.

"That's one you owe me," said Alex. As they ran off the ship, Alex threw Xiang her clothes and equipment, saying, "Put these on. I hate to put an end to this strangely sexy capture, but you'll need these to fight off the Pirate Sharks they summoned."

"Thanks... but why did you rescue me?"

"I can't leave a fellow Ninja behind." he said. They swam off, fighting off the Sharks in something that resembled an underwater version of the lobby scene in The Matrix. As they reached the shore, Xiang turned to Alex and said,

"I'm sorry I took that. I was simply obeying my master's orders."

"And I'm sorry I killed your cousin," said Alex, drawing closer to her.

"I never liked him anyways." Xiang responded, looking him in the eyes.

"Why are you doing that? I was just apoligizing, not trying to get some." Then Alex paused for a second, thinking about what he said. "You know what? I actually wouldn't mind that."

"Is that what you thought I meant? I was just trying to see your glasses. But then again..."

"Wow, that was cool!" Sam said, dropping from one of the higher branches of the tree and landing in a sitting position next to Helvinski. "Are you aware you talk to yourself? Some would call that the sign of a crazy person," he continued knowingly.